Creative Destinations for Lionel Messi

08/26/2020

If you've paid attention to the sporting world, you'll know that Lionel Messi now wants to leave Barcelona. We've taken our turn in predicting his most likely destination, but the truth is, Messi has won everything he can as an individual in the game. He wants/needs a new challenge. If you've ever seen Messi play, then you know he likes to think big picture, recognizing opportunities and avenues no one else sees. In that same spirit, here are some unorthodox/satirical possibilities of where Messi could land once he leaves Barcelona.


1. The New England Patriots 

The rich get richer. Just when you think this 2 decades-long run of dominance is finally over, boom here comes Bill Belichick off the top ropes. At 5 foot seven, with world-class foot speed, Lionel Messi is the perfect slot white receiver. Lionel Messi comes into a winning culture for a team with great tradition, he gets to play with a proven coach he can trust. The only thing that holds the Patriots is the uncertainty at Quarterback now that Tom Brady is gone, but if one thing Messi has proved to us time and time, he does not always need a good passer, he can take it to the rack himself.

2. Dallas Mavericks

Lakers and Warriors may seem like obvious choices, but Messi won't be eager to join another aging team. The Mavs culture is very pro soccer, Messi would feel right at home at the starting point guard. This team is now a Championship contender.

3. Any Baseball Team 

Here's a way Lionel Messi can rack up endorsements, earn a hefty weekly wage, be adored by fans, and win championships. Just sign with a baseball team. Any team. Any team at all. Baseball is desperate for some positive press and fan engagement. Imagine Messi at shortstop with his quickness and god-like reflexes. He could be the second coming of Derek Jeter. If I'm the MLB, I'm paying Messi as much money as he wants, and rigging the league for whatever team he signs for. None of that double AA crap Michael Jordan had to go through. Messi signs with the Marlins, guess what? The Marlins go undefeated.

4. Dallas Cowboys

Messi is notorious for pulling strings for everyone on the field. Cowboys are an elite quarterback away, and Messi might be that man. He would be very expensive though so some trades will have to be made. But if Dallas lands Messi, America's team just landed the most popular athlete in the world.

5. The Men in Blue aka The Indian Cricket team

Basically the Barcelona of the cricket world. I can see it now. Down by three runs, with one out remaining. The bowler begins his run-up towards batsman Messi bust down in a pretentious looking cricket flannel with his eyes locked on to the hard stitched blood-red cricket ball. His hands gripped on to the bat. The bowler lets the ball roll off his hand as fast as lightning. The ball is surely headed for the wickets and Messi's team is surely headed home with a loss? No. Messi doesn't flinch. It's like he's back at the Camp Nou running up to take a 90th-minute free kick. As cool as ice, Messi lunges the bat forward making booming contact with the ball, launching it into the sun. The virtual crowd, the 12 outfielders, watch in awe as the ball descends past the boundaries and into the stands earning 6 points. Crowds from New Delhi to Hyderabad flood the streets in celebration. Lionel Messi, once again at the top, basks in glory . . .

6. Las Vegas Golden Knights

This team started in 2017 but already have a Stanley Cup appearance to their name in that same season. Messi is used to putting defender on skates, so sliding some on himself won't be a challenge. With Messi on the roster, this team could cement its legacy as the greatest expansion team American sports has ever seen.

7. Indianapolis AlleyCats

In their first year in American Disc League, the AlleyCats competed in the league championship, losing to the Philadelphia Spinners. The AlleyCats play at Westfield's Grand Park Sports Campus indoor facility. The team has called Grand Park home since midway through the 2018 season. Lionel Messi would join star player Rick Gross who clocked in a plus/minus score of 99, with 93 passing percentage, and playing in 339 points played. Adding Messi's speed and vision would make the Indianapolis AlleyCats a real contender in the upcoming season.


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