Far-Fetched Friday: Tom Brady Read Our Article About Tom Brady
By: Khaqan Khan
So two weeks ago, after his dominant performance on opening night against the Cowboys, we here at The Glorious ICT Zone, put out a half-witted article titled Predicting the Next 56 Years of Tom Brady's Career. In which we tried to predict the rest of his playing career until he's 100 years old.
Welcome back to Far-Fetched Friday, where every Friday we give you a bold prediction that we believe will come to fruition. This Friday, we mix things up a little.
However, we posted that on a Tuesday, and then over the next few days, we saw reports that Tom Brady thinks he can play until he's 50. After we saw those, we laughed to ourselves like, "Oh, he definitely read it." But then we noticed something peculiar happened that preceded his quotes.
As we do, we posted that Tom Brady article on Instagram, and we got a like on the post from an account that raised our eyebrows. In the past, we've had Dwight Howard like the article we wrote about Dwight Howard, so we're used to the fame and all, but this got us thinking: The post was liked by Ben Rawitz!
Now, if you don't know who Ben Rawitz is, then you're just like us. After seeing that Tom Brady follows him, we decided to do some digging. I risked it all by checking his LinkedIn page with my own profile (ayo add me tho lowkey). Under Ben's LinkedIn bio, it reads, "15 years of managing Tom Brady," Ben Rawitz is a friend of Toms. It all makes sense now!
This is probably how it happened: Ben Rawitz was probably lounging with his feet up somewhere in Florida, drinking wine from Drew Bledsoe's winery, just scrolling Instagram for everything tagged Tom Brady so he could go like it, and remind people that he's friends with Tom Brady. He probably came across our article and was hooked by our incredible title. Then after he read it, he was probably blown away by our comedic genius and our craftsman-like precision with words. I just know that after reading our article, he was saying to himself, 'oh, wait till Tom reads this.' Then what happened is that he texted the link to Tom Brady, who was probably just waiting by his phone to get a text from Ben Rawitz. Tom Brady read the article and got ideas. Ben forgot to tell him it was a satirical article. The next day Tom Brady addresses the media and is like, 'yea, I can play till I'm 50, yea, sure why not.'
And that's how it happened. That's how Tom Brady read our article about Tom Brady. You might be thinking to yourself, "Nah, ain't no way. Y'all drawing heavy conclusions from an Instagram like. Tom Brady did not read this. That's unlikely and unconvincing; implausible."
To which I would respond, "unlikely and unconvincing; implausible is the definition of Far-Fetched." ;)
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